"I'm losing you"

Life is tough, and we all know that. We also all know that everyone needs a person or two that they can trust to always be there for them, and when you're a kid, 9 out of 10 times it's not a family member. That's my case, but it's not my point.

My two "go-to people" are my best friend, Andrew, and my music teacher, who I won't name, just in case. Andrew is like, the best, and that's probably why I have a "thing" for him, if you catch my drift. He's just the greatest ever, I can't even begin to describe. Unfortunately, he doesn't think of me in the way I think of him. Well, he might, but he says that he doesn't want that kind of thing with anyone right now, so I do have a sliver of hope. But he really is the best.

My music teacher is also amazing. She's the best teacher ever, no contest. Again, I can't even begin to describe her level of greatness.

But as of today, there's exactly three months left in the school year. Three months left with these two people who keep me as grounded as possible. I'll go on to my high school, Andrew will go to his, and my teacher will stay in middle school. There's so many things I want to tell Andrew, and just can't. It's not fair to him right now to tell him. And I feel like I'm losing my teacher. She and I used to connect so well, and lately, it's just not there. Maybe it's because we've got a show and a competition coming up. That's probably a pretty large part of it. But I feel like I've changed. I've always had trouble paying attention, and have shown pretty much all the signs of attention-deficit disorder, but lately it seems like it's gotten worse. I just can't focus on anything anymore, and I..... I can't even describe the way I "go off." It's almost kind of frightening.

Bottom line is, I'm about to lose these people and I don't feel like I'm taking full advantage of my time left with them. But I don't know how I can. Andrew told me just a few days ago that he really doesn't want someone of that significance right now, and my teacher is just so busy right now I can't talk to her.

I guess all I can do is wait. Wait for Andrew to come around, if he ever does, or just until the 8th grade formal. I just have to hope he will go with me, as in go with me "that way." And in my teacher's case, I guess I just have to wait for the show to pass, as with the competition.

Ugh, waiting. Something I'm not good at.